How are we doing at creating an "Environment of Awareness?"

[Jim Ellsworth]

From HERE, Ken describes an “environment of awareness” as:

“any situation involving two or more people in which at least one person is directing attention into the mystery of being. The attention creates a field, an environment of awareness, that naturally catalyzes a potential in each person. In this field, conceptual understandings of impermanence, compassion, emptiness, and other qualities or insights become living experiences.”

Here's how he says it works:

• "One or more people direct attention into the mystery of experience.
• This effort creates a field of attention. It is generated collectively and a participant both contributes to and draws from it.
• Each person takes responsibility for what arises in his or her own experience.
• Experience is transformed because everyone is present in a field that is at a higher level of attention than they could generate on their own.
• The degree of transformation depends on the person’s ability to be present in what they experience."

And here are some more pointers that he gives:

• "EoAs are primarily physical meetings.
• The field affects all people present. (There are no casual observers.)
• The field helps people to go deeper into their own experience (or causes them to be more reactive).
• Participants make three efforts:
o be in their bodies (avoids conceptualizing or intellectualizing experience),
o experience what is arising emotionally (avoids emotional enmeshment), and
o open to their experience of the field (avoids collapsing around an identity)
• Each participant makes this effort, whether meditating or interacting with other participants.
• All participants are responsible for maintaining balance in the field.
• Imbalances in the field can be detrimental to participants.
• An EoA is not just a teaching session, group meditation or discussion. An EoA can arise spontaneously or be created at any time or in any setting."

So, I wonder how we’re presently doing at creating an “Environment of Awareness” during our meetings? And what could we do to better fulfill this intention? And perhaps it is important to ask if this intention resonates with you? Should we adopt it as our intention for WUTYL-Columbus? Why or why not?

Any and all feedback is welcome, from old-timers to brand new participants, to people who’ve only attended one or two meetings or even none at all, and especially to people who’ve decided to stop coming but might read this.

[Jim Ellsworth]

I'm starting this forum because I'd like us to begin to think about how the group meetings can be made more meaningful. It will help us to define more clearly our group intention. And this will allow newcomers to have a clearer idea about what it is that we do and how the group may of benefit to them. It should also lead to meetings that run more smoothly so that we can focus more on how our meditation practice and group discussions.

I've also come up with a draft describing our group that might be helpful to read when people join us for the first time. This is just a draft since I haven't taken the time to incorporate the relevant elements from Ken's "EoA" description and since I'd like your feedback about what might be left out or any way you see the language may be improved.

• We are a peer group, meaning that none of us claim to be teachers. We're all students of the dharma, especially in how it applies to our individual lives. Along this line, we accept responsibility for our own lives and our own practice. We learn from one another and encourage one another but none of us can ever know what it's like to be in the mind/body of another.

• We're a nonsectarian group that studies Western teachers who value Buddhism more as a series of practical tools to help us awaken to the mystery of the present moment than as a religion or a belief system.

• We learn to "fit our lives into our practice rather than our practice into our lives." In other words, we learn ways to approach our ongoing lives as practice, applying mindfulness techniques to our daily lives, becoming more aware as a result, and increasingly experiencing equanimity in our daily lives. It's not a matter of simply meditating for a few minutes a day, leaving everything else unchanged.

• We place a great emphasis on engaging and dismantling patterns of emotional reactivity. This means we learn to become increasingly present to the full range of our emotions.

• We recognize that our patterns of reactivity can sometimes place us in apparent conflict or disagreement with one another. When this happens, we learn to pay particular attention to what's happening in our own body/mind and see the conflict as a potential for growth rather than an immediate cause for separation.

• We have no dues or fees for participation but ask regular participants to make a voluntary donation to pay for meeting and group expenses.

• We are affiliated with the Unfettered Mind network through individual interest and associations but not in any formal way.

[Kate Mazetier]

Hi Jim, Thanks for pointing us in this direction at the probing presence group. It helps me to clarify the intention and responsibilities for myself and everyone who is choosing to enter this EoA space.
Glad you are feeling better.

[Jim Ellsworth]

Hey Kate. I owe a thank you to Ann for pointing me back in this direction recently.

I like the point that there are "no casual observers." People contribute to the field of attention and also take from it, allowing them to go more deeply into their experience than they otherwise might be able on their own. But to sit passively and expect not to make any contribution can create an imbalance in the group, especially when the numbers are small. We affect one another. One of the biggest challenges in practice, for me anyway, is to sense imbalances in how we affect others and look for skillful ways to improve the balance. At least recognizing that we do affect one another is a good first step in that direction.

Any chance you can join us on Thursday? I'm always lugging the computer around in case you stop by!

[Todd Smith]

I picture the whole WUTYL gang sitting on a hillside meditating. Someone (probably Jake) smiles, stretches out his arms to indicate the whole group, and says, "They call this a WUTYL!" and we all laugh hysterically.

While I understand the effort to come to some sort of understanding of what it is we are trying to accomplish together, I find the process problematic (as Ken might say). I wonder if we aren't just trying to create some "thing-ness" for WUTYL. Speaking for myself, I often forget about emptiness and return to the idea that there are fixed things upon which I can depend. As much as I'd might like to see a permanent, fixed presence that serves my need to have a group to meditate with, I must remember that WUTYL is empty. Dammit.

Todd

[Jim Ellsworth]

Todd,

Thanks for the reply. It's good to hear your input.

For me this exercise is about clarifying our intention as a practice group. It's not an attempt to reify or make a "thing" out of the WUTYL group. I'm of the opinion that the group has sputtered needlessly because we've not taken the time to discuss and clarify our intentions for practice together. And because of this we've faced difficulties in communicating our intentions to newcomers who might wonder about we do.

So along this line, I'd like to ask you for some clarification. Why do you personally practice with the WUTYL group instead of one of the many dharma centers in town that have already worked out some of these issues?

[Kate Mazetier]

Maybe today will work out- is it 7 pm your time- 4 pm my time?

[Todd Smith]

The question is: Why do I meditate with WUTYL and not with any other sangha. I have had contact with three other sanghas, and I had very specific issue(s) with each that prevent me from meditating with them on a regular basis. I won't go into what those issues are, but many have to do with the fact that they have, as Jim puts it, "already worked out some of those issues," and I'm not so sure that such a level of certitude is compatible with a spiritual quest. It is true that there are many other dharma centers I could check out, but I have simply not felt the need to seek other meditation forums.

So why do I meditate with WUTYL? There are several reasons:

- It is convenient
- I like the people who come to the meetings
- I like the center where we meditate, and I connect with their philosophy of service
- I like Ken's book - it helped me put a name to many of the things I'd been thinking and introduced me to a system wherein I could help my mind process and encompass my experiences.

In the interest of clarification, I'll take it back one more level: Why do I meditate at all? I started meditating because I hoped to end the chaos in my life. As my practice developed, I discovered that it was my desire to suppress the chaos that was the central problem - what I really needed to do was to let the chaos in a little at a time and experience the emotions that set in motion the reactions that caused the chaos. I continue a meditation practice because that process is not finished, nor will it ever be.

The center of my practice is my effort to redirect my effort, which for my entire lifetime I have misdirected toward cynicsm, narcissism, nihilism, and self-absorption, toward joyfulness, compassion, lovingkindness, and equinimity. That's it. While I enjoy practicing with a group, my practice is not about WUTYL, just as it is not about Ken McLeod, or even about Todd Smith.

"Environment of awarness" and "fields of experiences" are indeed interesting topics and worthy of exploration. It may be that as I explore them, my practice will fundamentally change, just as it did when Janaki introduced us to body-based practice. However, I do not rely upon WUTYL, or any particular resource, to shape my practice into what it "should" be; in fact, I would actively resist such an idea.

It is in this same vein that I am uncomfortable with the establishment of a WUTYL manifesto that sets out what "we" do or what "our" practice looks like. I practice what I practice, and would not presume to say that my practice would work for anyone else. I have to say that the WUTYL statement as presented in Jim's second post are more autocratic and dogmatic than I'm comfortable with. It conveys the message, or it least it would to me, that WUTYL expects its members to conform to this particular belief system, and that I might not be welcome if I don't.

And since I've stumbled upon the subject of newcomers, I don't think its appropriate to judge WUTYL's success by the number of bodies that consistently show up at our meetings. If WUTYL meets a given person's needs, he/she will attend. Or he/she won't. If WUTYL meets a need, then WUTYL will survive. Or it won't. WUTYL as a thing is not what's important. In any case, codifying it isn't going to help.

[Jim Ellsworth]

Yes, our meeting begins at 7:00 EST so it's 4 pm. your time. We'll have silent meditation for the first thirty minutes so you wouldn't need to log in until about 4:30. I'll use the wutyl-columbus id. It'll be good to see you.

[Jim Ellsworth]

Todd,

Thank you for not "suppressing the chaos" by entering such a thoughtful reply even if you knew it might be difficult or run counter to some of my intentions for the group. This is exactly the type of input that I'm hoping for.

I don't have time for an adequate reply right now. I need to get to the gym and walk and feed the dogs before our meeting tonight. But I will reply more thoughtfully soon.

But before I do, can you answer a question for me? What specifically from my second reply seems "autocratic and dogmatic" to you? I don't see it as a belief system but as a simple description for what we actually do in our group meetings and what type of practice we emphasize based on our understanding of the teachers that we've studied. It's an attempt to be clear about our intentions for coming together to practice.

I don't consider WUTYL's "success" by the amount of people that show up but by the positive changes that I've seen in peoples lives who have benefitted from the practice. But there has definitely been an imbalance in the group that needs to be addressed. More on that later....gotta go!

[Kate Mazetier]

Sorry it didn't work out. I went to a class and had to walk to get there so the timing was off. Hope it was a good meeting.

[Jim Ellsworth]

Todd,

We've already discussed this post in person. But for the record, I wanted to reply to some of your points.

First, I appreciate your answer about why you practice with the WUTYL group. And thank you for seeing that you first need to reply to why you practice at all. Group practice is based on individual practice. When you're clear on why you're practicing, you can begin to see how a group might complement your own intention for practice or not.

I sense that you're uncomfortable with the entire idea of trying to work out a group description or to clarify what our particular group might emphasize in how we approach practice and dharma study. And I can see why you're uncomfortable with the pronoun "we" and how that might make an individual feel excluded if s/he doesn't sense that their "I" doesn't fit with the "we" outlined in the group intention.

And I'm not sure how to get around that linguistic barrier. We've studied Ken's notion that "shared reality is ultimately a construction" and a couple of us even nod our head knowingly when that statement comes up. Do you remember how mind boggling it first was?

To reflect that idea, you'll notice that Ken states that an individual particpants in an EoA take responsibility for their own experience, placing their attention in their bodies and what arises emotionally. And in my post I state that we focus on what's happeing in our experience because we ultimately can't know what's going on in the mind and body of another. Additional language would reflect a need to use "I" statements and to avoid advice-giving for attempts to "fix" another who might bring up a painful issue in their own lives--something that has come up in the past.

But the fact remains that we do affect one another through how we direct our attention within the group. My hope in clarifying our intentions for practice and for group interaction is not to impose some kind of dogmatic codes on the group as you suggest. Instead it's so that we can begin to bring increased mindfulness to our interactions and our words. By posting this online, I'm trying to open up the process to individual response so that our meetings can be truly participatory and responsive to the needs of the individuals that come to meditate with us.

This brings me to the imbalance that I mentioned in the past post. Our WUTYL group has relied too heavily on my participation for meetings to happen. This is something I was willing to do in the beginning because I was so enthusiastic about Ken's teachings and hoped that a group would develop so that we could move into the meditation practices of chapter four and beyond. But there seems to have been some resistance for people to take on more than a passive role in making the group meetings happen.

To compensate, I've found that I've fallen into a habitual pattern of doing too much and then feeling stressed and sometimes resentful because others haven't always been willing to answer my pleas for increased participation. And this has affected the group energy in a negative way. It is my habitual pattern, one that's come up in other areas of my life, and I'm not blaming it on anyone else. But I am saying that I need to work on changing it. I'm just not sure how at this point.

And I'm not sure how it will end up affecting the group. Ideally I'd like more people be willing to step up to make the group meetings happen, to help with our presence online, to welcome newcomers and explain what we do. I'd like to be a participant in a group effort and that needs core involvement.

[Jim Ellsworth]

Hi Kate,

Yes, we had a pretty good meeting though we missed you! Are you taking classes at the University of Oregon? Eugene sounds like a great place to live! I spent years in Napa Valley, California but didn't have the good sense to make it up there for a visit.